I'm Back.

I'm going to give this another shot. In January, just after I posted my first blog, we found out I was pregnant and Derek and I were one of those "proceed with caution" couples who waited to share the news until I was 8 weeks along and there was in fact, a heart beat. Ironic, huh? I wanted that time documented so I started a journal to the baby where I told him each day how I was feeling, the things that happened that day, and how much I loved him. I figured I would eventually give it to him as a gift when he was old enough to appreciate it and at a time when he was nostalgic enough to find a gift like that from his mom endearing. Now it's just a journal cut short at nearly 19 weeks that I will put away now but will find in a box years and years from now and will probably cry when I read it then. I hope that when I do find it down the road that I will have a noisy house full of kids that will make all this sadness I'm facing now seem so worth it. I promise this blog won't always be sad but for now, I'm just being honest with myself.